Halos and Horns : The Truth in Being Wrong

My eyes dart open, the sun was out glistening in the desert sky.  I hear the rumble of people out for their perspective morning routines, some jogging, some exploring, others just now getting in from the night before.  The city that truly never ever sleeps.  I look around our street to see past the others, as it was something else that awoke me from my slumber.  There's a large structure across from us, where a lot of noise is coming from a PA speaker... Someone is talking.  I walk across the road, the playa floor, to investigate this one city block of Black Rock City, NV: Burning Man...  And what do I find?

A sermon being given at a baptist church for Christian Burners.

"Anyone may be part of Burning Man. We welcome and respect the stranger. No prerequisites exist for participation in our community." The 1st Principle: Radical Inclusion

I entered the sanctuary and sat near the back, listening and experiencing this brief story I have now out in the dust.  I don't actually identify with a organized religion, but I am always into hearing others unique perspectives on life.  The pastor (preacher?) went through the congregation meeting everyone after he finished for the day.  I thanked him for his time and the experience, turned and simply left.  Walked over to center camp to grab a mocha (my favorite drink out in the desert) to think about what just happened, and what I can learn from it.

Today's story is about just that: How wrong we are about being "right".

In statistics there's an issue called halos and horns.  This is where survey data becomes malformed due to overall acceptance/refusal of the subject as a whole.  For those who tend to halo/horn subjects, the general like/dislike of the target warps all questions along these lines.  Here... hang on.... Let meeeeee...... I'll script out an example:

Jim: Hi Bob, hey... did you like that burger place from yesterday? 

Bob: Billy's Big Time Burger?!  BEST BURGER EVER!!! YES!!!! PLACE RULES!!!!! 

Jim: I thought Jeff didn't like it too much? 

Bob: Jeff ordered a kale salad.... Why would you ever order kale at Billy Big Time? 

Jim: Ahh. Got'cha.  But easy in and out lunch? 

Bob: Oh yeah, place was great... Dropped the check, came right back. Easy. 

Jim: .... you were late yesterday. 

Bob: Well.... so there was a slight mistake, they charged the wrong card.  Seriously it was basically my fault for not writing down my last name when we tried to split the check. 

Jim: Tried? 

Bob: They did have it written on the menu no split checks. So that's our bad honestly. 

Jim: What about the added gratuity? Jeff was pretty pissed about that... 

Bob: There were 4 of us.  Yeah, they add it.  What's the problem?

Bob here loves the burger from Billy Big Time.  Unfortunately service there is damn terrible.  But Bob can't see past that delicious perfectly cooked medium rare burger topped with sauteed onions, cheddar, and bacon.  Bob has "Halo'ed" Billy Big Time.

A wise man once told me: 

"PJ, every single person is right about something and wrong about something else.  Your job?  Find something that idol of yours is wrong about, just like you need to find what's true within that person you hate. That truth is there, honest."

Back at the Burning Man church, many fellow burners alongside Christian church-goers questioned what this "church-camp" was doing out in the desert with us (It was their 10th year btw).  And the answer is quite simple: They were searching for whatever truth is held in Burning Man culture.  The same I was doing by sitting in the back of the congregation: searching for whatever truth this church has to offer my perspective on life.  However big, however minuscule that truth might be... Be it 90% or 0.0000000001% truth of the tale they tell.  Truth-seekers will find it.

Good news for you:  You get to start doing this right now. 

:')

Go look at the photo up at the top...  Yep.  SNL stand-ins for the real thing  So: Sit and think about everything that was said/done during the most insane presidential election that's existed in our entire lifetime.  One of these two people you approve of, the other you don't (and that's fine) - [edit: if you're outside the USA, what like matchup can you deliberate through?].  Whoever you approve of: find something they are wrong about. Something you can critique them about why they are just plain fucking wrong. And then... For the person you despise: find something they are right about. Something that you can learn from whatever their life experience has to offer you.  What truth do they hold?

Radical Inclusion is about actual 100% inclusion to the absolute fullest extent.  Our community accepts all, since every single person on Earth has SOMETHING to offer. SOMETHING to teach.  There is truth within each and every single person here.  

Your job: to find it.

I love you all,

--Paul Jacob Evans

www.pauljacobevans.com

The Voice of a Vote

*Disclaimer: There are no political sides taken here.

Facebook has lately been a constant barrage of negativity in my life.  Day in and day out I find myself less and less on the social networking site.  The constant feeds of email servers, groping, racism, and newly reopened FBI investigations.  It's a trying time to be a citizen of our country, an election cycle that should have us seriously reconsider how we conduct elections here.  The spark of viciousness of two rabid dogs neck-to-neck in a battle to the death.  Wasn't this supposed to be about the issues?  Yeah, maybe those days are long gone.  

... Or are they?  Today's story is about your voice in your vote.

A post pops up in my feed, it's a friend who is pleading with anyone who will listen.  "Don't vote for [3rd party candidate]!  We need to beat the [Democrats / Republicans]!!!  DON'T THROW YOUR VOTE AWAY!"  When did politics become nothing more than a football game.  Your team vs. mine.  Red vs. Blue.  When did that happen?  ...  Why did it happen, and why should we care?

The problem with a 'game' is the purpose: the purpose is TO WIN.

It's not to do good things, help others, or make the world a better place.  Nope.  It's simply to beat the crap out of the other team.  Ahh, ok.  Now this election cycle is making a bit more sense.  Who cares about 'others' when we can WIN!  WINNING is great!  This is why we've watched ~$1.8 Billion (B... yeah, Billion $)  be spent this election trying to convince us to pick their candidate, so they get to WIN!!!!!!  Gosh WINNING IS SOOO AWESOME!!!

Personally, I think we've gotten off track.

Voting, the vote, the voice... all of an individual, not some team.  And really, that's how this has been continuing, you're not an individual... you're part of a organized group.  Red or Blue or .... you're nobody that matters, (right?)  The football game works when everyone is picking sides, you or me, because somebody has to WIN and somebody has to LOSE.  But it all stops instantly when everyone is out there by themselves, deciding what's best for everyone in the whole stadium.

The game ends when we, the voters, simply stop playing it.

She screams out in another comment: "DON'T THROW YOUR VOTE AWAY!  PLEASE!!!".  As as far she sees, there's only two options in the booth: Red or Blue, because any other 'choice' isn't going to WIN (purpose of the game) so it's a "wasted vote", right?  By her perspective, why would you do anything else?  

Well, I feel that you should do something else.

Each of us should be voting like we are the only vote, the only voice that matters.  As if our singular vote is the determining factor that will call the entire election.  Vote like it truly matters, for whom you feel should be holding those offices.  Whatever circle you choose, whoever's name you write in: that is your singular choice of who should be standing in those ranks, regardless of any and all outside influences:  That vote is your voice!

As far as choices, you have only two:

1. Vote your voice
2. Sacrifice your voice to some 'team' to do with as they will

So next time someone tells you not to throw your vote away, explain this to them.  As long as we're voting in the Monday night football game, every vote we cast is thrown away.  That's when a vote no longer has a voice.  

Vote like it matters.

I love you all,

:')

--Paul Jacob Evans

www.pauljacobevans.com

An Ode to Immediacy

I woke up rather suddenly as an art car trolled past our encampment, it's morning.  There's a woosh! and gargle, the iconic sounds of a flame thrower roaring through more and more of it's propane gas food.  It stops, and the inevitable cheering from the small crowd for another display from the beast.  "Wooo-Hooo!" a-top laughter and applause.  My eyes are open while I listen to the gentle giant and friends roam down "H" street towards some new adventure.  They leave our quiet suburb as the air settles back down onto the playa floor, a caked up parcel of high alkaline silt, leaving only the sound of the morning sun.

I'm awake now.  At 4:00 & H,  Black Rock City, Nevada.  Saturday: The Man burns tonight at Burning Man.  However this story isn't about the burn, nor about our Black Rock City or this iconic annual festival...  

This story is about a 15 second conversation that happened this one curious day.

:')

"Immediate experience is, in many ways, the most important touchstone of value in our culture. We seek to overcome barriers that stand between us and a recognition of our inner selves, the reality of those around us, participation in society, and contact with a natural world exceeding human powers. No idea can substitute for this experience." - Burning Man Principle #10 : Immediacy

 Are you "busy"?  Like really "busy"? Like running around all over town because, "PJ... you have [no idea] the amount of things I have to get done today!". . . "busy"? Lately, I've been noticing this: How "busy" my friends are.  And I get it, I used to be "busy" too.  I'd have my schedule packed ear to ear, and at 7AM... BAM!  "Busy" is starting... Off to point A, then to point B, run over to point C, meet D and E for F over at G&H, have to skip I for a meeting with J who brought in K (L's boss) to talk about MNOP's report on Q. CRAP! got a text from R&S who just got out of T and are headed to U with V.  Which is FINE but W won't start because XY AND Z! ..... {sigh} "Busy" is exhausting.

And "busy" is something much more dire:  "Busy" isn't living life.

We're not living in the space around us... We're too concerned about getting to the next check point.  "I'VE GOT TO GET TO POINT A! WHY IS THIS GUY DRIVING SO SLOW!!!!! AHHHH!!!!!" <HONK!> <HONK!> <HONK!!!!!!!>.  And what happens when we get to a checkpoint? BAM! There's another checkpoint we got to get to! Point B!!!! LET'S GO!!!!  And this illustrated a very important lesson I learned this year:

We're always striving to be somewhere we're not.

I used to be "busy", racing off to the next checkpoint ignoring "life" happening all around, too concerned about my never-gained destination.  For whenever I got somewhere, 100% of the time there was somewhere else I was headed next.  And that's the "busy" life: always going to, but never being anywhere.

I take the metro around for transit, gave up my car about a year and a half ago (just following the universes lead after some thieves stole the catalytic converter) ;)  "Yes universe... Thank you, lesson learned!" And I'll tell you the most fantastic thing this change has yielded: This is when my life stopped being "busy".  This is when I really started "living life".  And this point is really important: The map never changes, but my attitude towards walking it has dramatically.

I'm still going to points A, B, C, etc.  But my life isn't about "getting there" anymore.  It's about living each and every step, confident that I'm headed in the right direction towards the next checkpoint.  Where I used to be glued onto the next point warp 9-ing past all of this "life" that is actually happening.

Look: That point A, it ain't going anywhere.  So just head in that direction, and turn your attention to the abundance of life happening all around you.

Stop being "busy", and start "living".

It's that easy.....

....

Oh yeah!  My 15 second conversation:  

Her: "Hey PJ... uhhhhh.... so.  What do you think about really taking our time heading back to LA?  Like make a road trip out of it?  Maybe Lake Tahoe, see some family in San Francisco... stuff like that."

Me: "Sounds Amazing."

This is what happened:

• Breakfast in Lake Tahoe at "Bear Beach Cafe" - Amazing
• Emerald Bay - :')
• Kayak'ed out on the Lake from Homewood - Wow
• Sushi in Sacramento at "Sushi Hook" incredibly fun sushi place (happened to go in during 1/2 price happy hour) - Awesome
• Baker Beach morning - Site of first Burning Man - :')
• Golden Gate Bridge - Wow!
• Amazing sandwiches @ "Lou's Cafe" in San Fran - Crap this place was amazing.
• Incredible coffee shop & nerd-palace "Characterz Cafe" in Pleasanton (Seriously: Coffee ice cubes so your mocha gets stronger as it melts! W.T.F! Why has nobody thought of this!) :')
• Wine and Cheese in Sonol that night - Tree house cabin = amazing
• Met an amazing barista at "Juice & Java" in Pacific Grove
• Met a REALLY awesome sandwich artist at nearby "Compagno's Market & Deli"
• Lunch on the Point Pinos Beach (sandwich & coffee)
• Checked out the amazing views around Big Sur
• Walked into Hurst Castle (will be back for sure)
• Dinner (other half of Compagno sandwich) on Santa Barbara pier

It's funny.  PJ of a year ago would have huffed about wanting to get back to LA quick.  PJ of this year had the greatest 3-day adventure ever.

And all I did was: Live. Every. Step.  Now I know.

:')

I love you all,

-Paul Jacob Evans

www.pauljacobevans.com

Emerald Bay @ Lake Tahoe

The Idea of You

A chirp came from the computer as I'm navigating 20+ tabs of random flows of thoughts.  My chrome browser sessions are on par with being at a epic rock concert while meeting with your accountant: Fun = yeah... But still has this peppering of 'work' that won't go away.  I'll randomly think: "I wonder how batteries are charged..."  and BOOM! new tab is open with a web page explaining bulk charge, absorption, and float battery charging steps... REALLY interesting!!!!!  So battery charging is apparently a very heated topic in the electronics community as it's not actually... "STOP PJ! YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN!"  </sigh> Sorry.  Welcome to my world.

<BEEP> That chirp happened again!  Crap, where is it coming from?  I click through tab after tab, each with a new world of information and teachings... "What does the octane number mean?" "How do power transformers work?" "Distance from Istanbul to Los Angeles in miles".  Nope, those aren't it.  <click>  Ahhh... Yep:

Facebook.  Figures.

A new photo was posted by a friend of mine.  "Hey guys!  Check out my new one-sheet!  Tell me what you think. Mwah!"  Ok. Cool.  Nice photo, name is easy to read, tagline = "Smart Upscale Mom meets the Brat-Next-Door"...... ok.  Let's talk about this....

The "idea" of you.

There's an actress I met in acting class who is covered in tattoos, but every head shot I've seen she's covering them all up.  "Why?" I ask, "They are who you are..."  She scoffs a bit at the line of questioning: "I don't want to be seen as that kind of person."  She says.  "But why? You're very proud of your ink, why not tell the world? This is you."

For her and the tag-line actress before, they have created an "idea" of who they really are in the industry.

There's an actor mastermind group that I'm a part of here in Los Angeles.  We meet once a quarter, and each meeting I see the new faces come in with branding exercises, taglines, what-show-am-I-a-fit-for facebook polls.  And that's how I get to know them, well... not 'them', the "idea" of them.  I'm acquainted with the "idea" of who they think they are.  And slowly, one-by-one the real person will emerge.  Tagline actress from before?  Yeah... Competitive pro pole dancer!  "Wha?!  Seriously?"  It's like she allowed me to know who she really is, and I got to toss away the "idea" she had before.  I think so many actors/resses get lost here in LA.  Buried in the scopes and formulas to build the ideal "idea" of them to showcase off.  

I find that all of these "hidden" parts of their lives are the parts that give them the most uniqueness.  That really and truly separate them from everyone else. And when you are unabashed about allowing others to know whom you really are, nobody can compete with you.

Think about that.  "Wha?! Being an actor/ress with no competition?"  Yeah.  There's not one other Paul Jacob Evans in existence.  So the more the industry gets to know about me, the more unique I become.

Look at this.  I'll give you some items that define me, think of the others in the same group that I might be competing with.  Then just walk down the list, adding each to the overall:

1.) Actor...

2.) ...in Los Angeles

3.) ...total geek

4.) ...that still watches cartoons

5.) ... ... .... including Spongebob

6.) ... that's been paid to build Legos

7.) Was a drummer

8.) ... in a 2-piece metal band

9.) ... that toured the US 5 times

10.) ... almost kidnapped in Mexico

11.) ... that was deported from the UK

12.) Attends Burning Man

13.) ... will be my 6th this year

14.) ... 2nd as mayor of my village

15.) ... I've built yurts

16.) ... the water tower for the French Quarter

17.) ... and manage an art project

18.) ... ... it's that TV in the desert
19.) ... ... ... that plays Ren & Stimpy 
20.) ... ... ... ... which I can quote almost all episodes

See how fast the "competition" shrinks?  What number did you get to before you were "Damn... uh... don't even know if I know anyone else in the group." And I could go on for months!  Here's the best part: I didn't have to do some exercise to figure this stuff out.  It's LITERALLY MY ACTUAL LIFE! :D

So: Have you tried just being yourself?

Ditch the "Idea" and just go for the real thing.

Geek & Burn!

-Paul Jacob Evans

www.pauljacobevans.com

PS: I'M A WELDER!

Working on the new BRCTV DeepPlayaTV for Burning Man 2016...

R. E. S. P. E. C. T. | How I Learned to be an A-List Actor

R. E. S. P. E. C. T.

How I Learned to be an A-List Actor

"THEY'RE ONLY DOING SCENE 2!  GOD!!!!", gawked an actor who stormed out of the audition room.  Not 15 seconds later emerged a older gentleman that watched as the disheveled auditionee left.  "Well...", he says to us, the remaining actors, "... when you leave after your audition, you might want to close the door."  Obviously irked by the heated actor, he turns back into the room and (with a purposeful 'thud') the door did close behind him.  Turns out he is the executive producer for the project.  I guess that actor won't be getting a callback, nor called back... ever.  "Wow", I think to myself.... "I just watched a bridge get burned."

Today has been a very interesting day, .... I... ahhh...... well....    had to blacklist someone out of my life.  And as the story is what the story is, the lesson I got to learn is of immeasurable value.  I got to learn what that foundation is, of who you are as a person, must be in order to grow into an A-lister in our industry.

This is a story about a little thing called: Respect.

Cut to 2 months ago: 3 days after my birthday actually. I get a text message from a friend (we'll call her 'Stacy'.... why not?).  Stacy has a problem. She's with her co-creator out on a shoot.... (we'll call her co-creator 'Candi'........ because.... why not?) They have 30 people at a location to shoot 12 pages in 6 hours, and their audio doesn't work.  Pretty big deal.  Like disaster-laden big deal.  Like entire-shoot-getting-re-scheduled-with-30-peoples-schedules-and-conflicts big deal.  This is bad.  So...

Stacy contacts me and explains the situation.  I have gear that I know works fine, so I tell her to send someone over and I'll bring everything up there to help the shoot.  I got rid of my car a year ago, and do a mix of public trans, uber, lyft, and a whole lot of walkin'.  Works great!  Except in situations like this.  So getting someone over here is the fastest route to take, as they're thankfully and literally 3.2 miles away from my house.

Candi picks me up and we go over to the shoot.  I'm actually still in my pajamas and wearing flip-flops, since I had no time to change.  We hop into the house and I meet everyone and run boom for the first few shots training a wonderful young lady how to run all the equipment.  After she is comfortable with it, I end up needing to leave.  Since they are shooting 12 pages in no time at all, I opt to just walk home (I walk a lot! It's not that far guys.. seriously.) as having Candi take me back would be detrimental to the shoot and I have plenty of time available.  No big deal, everyone is happy, and the shoot moves forward.

That night Stacy texts me back to schedule bringing the equipment back.  I was out and not at my house for the night, but we decide to meetup the following day at 6:30pm back at my house. 

The next day at 6:33pm I'm walking up to the house and Stacy is already there... I've wasted her time, I'm late! AHHH!!!  I thank her for running by and she drops the equipment off with a huge thank you for being available to save the shoot.    

Fairly tale story?  Not quite....

There's a part missing in the bag, the AC adapter for the field recorder.  I tell her this, and immediately she apologizes and says she'll track it down and get it over to me...

That was March 20th.

Today I had to proactively reach out and ask about the AC adapter that is still missing from my equipment.  Stacy lets me know that Candi has it... But: "She's going in and out of town a lot and she hasn't had time to meetup to get it over to you. But I've been trying really hard."  (It's been 2 months).  So I get Candi's number, and this is what happens:

'Hey Candi, I need to grab that AC Adapter.  I have a shoot and need it for Saturday.'  She asks if I'm in her area from 12-4pm today, or 12-3 tomorrow.  I'm not as I have several auditions and an agent meeting.  I explain this, then get a response.... "What I may be able to do is put it in a small bag and put in my open mailbox, buzz you in, and you can pick it up there." There? = her place, on the other side of LA.

I pick up the phone and call her, she says she's too busy and those are the only times she's available to meetup for me to get my own equipment back. Plus, I have to go to her, she doesn't have time to come near me.  So I give her an out... "Ok.. Well look, I have a mailbox here you can drop it off at any convenient time, any hour, today, tonight, tomorrow... no problem."  And then she says this:

"My mom is in town, that's not going to work for me."

Really?  But you're the one that fucked up.. Why am I doing all the work to fix your own mistake?  I'm not the one who didn't keep track of someone else's gear.  That same someone, who if they didn't save our ass for this shoot, we might still be trying to reschedule it.  I'm baffled, if the roles were reversed I'd be tripping over myself to remedy this situation with the humblest of apologies.  I'd order an Uber to move the adapter from across town if need be.  I would do anything I could with the least amount of effort from the person whom I've hurt.  And here? ....  I'm not even hearing an apology... at all.  Then it became apparent: 

Candi's need for "convenience" outweighs her respect towards others. 

Wow.  That hit me like a ton of bricks.  That's really what dis-respect is: "me" first.  "You" only if "I" have time. [see... 'me' is still first]  I start to think about everyone I know in the industry and a familiar theme comes about, the theme I've been searching for:

The most successful people I know ALWAYS put others first.  And that this core-level respect is the required foundation for you to grow into a A-list artist.

I now look back on my own life and experience seeing how imperfect I've personally been with this subject.  Here's a quick story:  There's a woman.. (we'll call her "Mai"... 'cause... what not?) She's part of this actor group that I'm apart of (around 100 actors/actresses).  So we're ending another group session and a bunch of us are leaving.  Mai was at the door waiting for someone and while I walked past her, I shook her hand as she gave me a compliment.  I turned and said: "Thanks. Great to meet'cha".  And I got to watch all the joy melt from her face as she said: "But... you already have, several times."  My eyes locked onto hers as some friends, ignorant of what just happened, directed me out of the room. "Hey Peej!  Let's go... "

That really sat with me.  Have you ever done something so against the fiber of your being, where it feels like the core essence of 'you' died a little?  A long time ago, while I was working at a giant corporate store as a cart-pusher, I did just that:  I stole a purse.

Someone left a purse in a cart... and I took it.  I remember hiding it in my car during work, and remember emptying it down a dirt road near my house (way out in the middle of the deep Texan country-side).  What'd I get out of it?  $28, and the feeling like half of my soul died.  That same feeling when Mai told me "you have.... several times."

It's always "ME" first here.  Purse? "I"m broke! "I" NEED this money.  "SHE" doesn't need it and much as "I" do.  Mai?  "I"m bad with names! "I" can't remember that many people! "I"m usually good with 'faces', that counts right?

NO!

As much as Candi was putting her convenience in front of me, I was putting some bullshit arbitrary rule I made up to not remember "Mai".  "But I can't remember that many people's names..." Bullshit!  I can memorize a page and half scene in 10 minutes.  You, Paul Jacob Evans, are telling yourself that remembering 'Mai' is too difficult?  That's fucking bullshit!  Unfortunately, I see this theme in my past quite a bit.

Think about it for yourself... When have you disrespected others?  When have you put yourself, your own "me" first?  How do you feel when you disrespected someone?

I can't change the past, but I can start a new future, and I can start with this... Now that I understand 'Respect'.  

"I am committed to a life of true and full respect for everyone I come into contact with, and to building this respect as a foundation where I will grow into an A-list artist."  

What I was listening to as I wrote this....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FOUqQt3Kg0

As much of a lesson I learned today, I still have to blacklist someone.... Which is a huge change for me.  The old PJ would have instantly played it out with Candi like, "Oh... that's cool... you'know... I guess.... whatever, it's all coool. I'll just do whatever... It's all good." ie: a doormat.  That changes today..... Because there's another theme that presented itself.  As I glance across the scores of successful people that taught me this 'respect', they also teach another lesson, one that's abundantly heard in Aretha's iconic song:   

Do no harm, but take no shit.

I love you all,

Thank you for reading.

--Paul Jacob Evans

A Brief Mugging : How I Regained My Faith in Humanity

"I woke up and didn't see him here, figured he was having a good night." she said.  I was laying down in the bed next to hers at a dingy hostel in Brooklyn, NY.  What she didn't know is that I was still awake.  I then sat up and said, "I was mugged last night, I just got in."  Herself, a wonderful girl (20 yo) from Australia, and a amazing guy from Germany shuttered.  Out of all the things I could have said, that was the most unexpected.

I was partying the night before and was pretty drunk.  I was trying to find the subway at 3am in the lower east-side of Manhattan alone.  Someone came up to me off of the street and led me down a side-street (something a step up from a alley and a step down from a actual street).  After venturing in way to far (especially in my inebriated state), a knife was pulled and pure silence ensued as he patted me down for a 36 hr old iPhone6s and my wallet.  A push, a shove, and he ran off, in a instant the man melded back into the night.  Like a drop of water melding back into a ocean.  

I stumble up and walk around disoriented, lost of my Metro card I suddenly realize I don't have anything, I mean ANYTHING on me.  I find two of NYC's "finest" who give me a 'Wow. That sucks.' attitude.  One of them starts giving me instructions back to the subway while the other pieces it together.  "Wow man, you don't have a metcard do you?"  I shake my head no.  "You'll have to walk back to Brooklyn.  Closest bridge is Williamsburg down there.  Good luck to ya."

I walk down towards the bridge and cross.  I figure that if I turn left I might see some street I recognize.  Unfortunately it wasn't quite that simple.  I turned left and mistook a street as east/west, while it was actually north/south.  I walked for hours.  Finally finding a subway stop that I knew off of the (L).  I'd figure that the road I was on was the subway line (looking for the 6 exhaust grates), I'd then walk 2 blocks and scan the area looking for the next stop.  I'd be wrong from time to time, but was able to retrace my way back to the hostel.  Arrived at 8:30 AM, 5 1/2 hours later.  What should have been a 5 mile walk turned into 10 from my mis-directions.  

But this story is not about an attack, it's not about an assailant, nor is it about those cops.  It's about everyone else.

:')

The Australian and German are stunned.  It was then that I realized that the loss was bad, but having a flight back to LA and no ID was going to be a big problem.  I can get another phone, I can replace the cards, but how do I live here in the city with nothing for 2 more days.  I look up in tears, "I don't know what to do, I have nothing.  I'm supposed to be on a plane in 2 days.  I can't stay here."  And something incredible started happening...

The Australian girl gave me literally every penny she had.  The German gave me what he could.  All in all I'm at $21 now.  Plus the Australian gave me her Metro card with 2 days left (she was meeting her aunt and didn't need it anymore) which would get me around town and to JFK on train.  Which I already accepted was going to be another walk (checking my map now, I realize that was a 15 mile hike I was adverted {if I knew how to get there, and I didn't... No phone = no map.}).

I hug both of them in tears.  Then I go down to the front desk and ask for a phone to borrow.  I grab my laptop and start calling credit cards and my bank, etc etc... I'm back in the kitchen area stressed out dealing with my banks.  The German reappears, hands me all his food he had on him.  Cereal, cottage cheese, bagels.. Loads of great high calorie and sustaining foods that'll keep me fed for at least these 2 days.  If you're keeping tally that's 2 days of food, $21, and a transit card.  I'm doing pretty good.  He gets yet another teary hug.

My mother found about the incident off of facebook.  I happened to be logged in, as that was my only way to communicate with anyone.  My mother ends up speaking with a "Mia" from JetBlue Airlines.  Whom did everything in her power to find some solution for me to get onto a plane.  My mom asks if I'd want to leave tonight.  "I can get to JFK tonight." I tell her.  She says that I need a police report to show authorities at the airport.  I look it up and get directions to the closest Police Station.  I say bye to my mom and shut my laptop.  With one move I sever my connection to anyone outside.  And head out blind.  Again, no phone = no map.

I end up at a Police Station, one officer does end up speaking with me and tells me unfortunately that I must report to Manhattan Police, 9th Precinct.  He give me basic directions.  "It's on 5th street between 1st and 2nd ave."  That was enough for me to find.  And I felt ok about getting back over there and finding it. 

I walk into Manhattan's 9th and up to the desk police officer to file.  I fill out a report and explain what happened.  She was getting really bureaucratic (not a fan of that) and I finally just told her: "I know you aren't going to catch the guy, like that'll ever happen... All I want is a police report so I can get on a plane and get the hell out of here."  Another officer listening in chimed in, "There is no way in the world they are going to let you on a plane without any ID."  That's when the weight of the situation really hit me.  Thoughts going through my head, You mean I'm not going home?  I can't stay here, no money, no room, some food but it's not going to last.  I'll be on the streets.  I started crying in the middle of the precinct.  I just didn't know what in the world I was going to do.

Here is a critical moment that happened...

The second cop started chatting with another officer.  "Hey Pauli!  What's the number to the TSA?  THE TSA!  AT JFK!"  He gets on the phone and the dialogue is something like this: 

"I've got a guy here who got mugged and has nothing now but is on a flight with you guys. What's he do?  That's right, no cards, no ID, no nothing.  Are you not listening to me!  MUGGED!  What kind of world do you live in?  I want to visit that world where muggers give back your ID and some spending cash back.  Maybe even a bank card..   YOU GO DO THAT!  GO GET YOUR SUPERVISOR!  GET SOMEONE ON THIS PHONE THAT KNOWS WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON OVER THERE...."

...long pause...

"WHAT!  Who are you!  'Kay.... Hmmmm............... What are they called?    Ok.... Alright........  That it?  Alright.  He'll be there tonight."

He stands up, approaches me.

"Alright guy, here's the plan... You're going to go down there and find the TSA TDCs.  They are called The Document Checkers.  Those are the TSA workers who check the ID and name on the boarding pass, around their area will be two workers dressed in blue TSA uniforms, they are the supervisors.  Talk with them.  They'll need to escalate to do something called a 'IBCC'.  That will get you verified and on that plane."  

I'm barely able to speak I'm so happy... "Thank you sir."  And I leave back to the hostel.  Once back there I turn on my laptop and immediately get a message from my mother who already worked something out with JetBlue.  I'm booked on a flight tonight.  I say thank you mom and again, shut my laptop.  No more contact and off to the airport.  It's around 4pm and the flight is at 10:30pm.  But dealing with security?  Who knows how long that'll take, so I head out immediately.  I race down to the front desk and kind of check out... "I don't know if I'll be back, I just don't know what's going on right now."  He looks back (already knowing what's going on) "It's completely fine, don't worry about it.  You'll still have a bed here if you need it.  Good luck."  I leave with the best hopes in mind.

I hop on the (L) to transfer over to the (A) towards Howard Beach.... Train stops at Myrtle-Myckoff, 3 stops before Broadway Jnt, my stop.  Everyone starts getting off the train.  Announcement "THIS IS THE LAST STOP, EVERYONE PLEASE EXIT THE TRAIN"  I'm losing my mind.  No phone, no maps, no idea what to do in a area of Brooklyn I've never been.  There's signs "ALL STOPS BETWEEN MYRTLE-MYCKOFF AND LIVONIA DOWN FOR CONSTRUCTION".  Great... I follow the group of people out, there appears to be a train shuttle to make up the segments.  'Awesome!' I think to myself and hop on the shuttle.

The shuttle appears to drive to the 'area' of the connecting stations, but not the stations themselves.  One gentleman gets off of the bus, "Where's the station?!" he belts back to the driver.  She shrugs, "I don't know, this is the first time I've done this route."  He turns, "Oh my god. I don't know...." Door shuts and bus moves on.  I'm losing my mind now.  

"Broadway Junction?!"  I yell out halfway into the bus.  Everyone turns, but could care less.  One rider looks at me, "I got'cha mate.  That's my stop too."  I look at him with a intense worry in my eye, "I need to get to JFK. Please help me."  Calmly he says, "It's ok, I'll get you there."  

Many bus stops later he and I get off of shuttle and I follow him to the train station.  At the station is a team of transit cops with a basket.  My new friend looks over at me, "Where's your transfer slip?".  Oh shit, I think to myself.  "You were supposed to get a slip off of the bus....  Don't worry, I'll vouch for ya.  Just follow me...."  We walk up and through the door.  "IN THE BOX!  PUT SLIPS IN THE BOX! WHERE'S YOUR SLIP!!!!" the cop belts out.... my friend: "He doesn't have one, he was with me on the (L), I'll vouch for him."  "PUT THE SLIP IN THE BOX!  NO SLIP NO PASS!!!!", "HE DOESN'T HAVE THE SLIP!!!! HE WAS ON THE (L) WHAT'S THE PROBLEM!"  ..... Cop then... "Ahhhhhh...." and brushes us off.  I'm in!  I've got access to the (A) to Howard Beach.  ONE STEP CLOSER!  My friend turns and points me in the right direction, then starts to leave towards his train.  I stop him and explain everything that's happened.  He's stunned, like I told him his alcoholic sister died.  Hugged him.  "Thank you. You have no idea how much you've helped me my friend."  Off to the (A).

It's a long train ride, very somber and reflective. A subway performer comes through the door from an adjacent car. He has a bongo and plays "Let it Be" for everyone. "It doesn't matter who you are, or what has happened in your life.... We are all in this together everyone.", he preaches to us all.  The crowd in the car, for one moment, all came together... They put away their iWhatevers and we were of one people. I'm glad I was there to share that moment. 

I make it to Howard Beach and run to the AirTrain to get to the terminal as soon as I can.  I run into the train station and see a omniscient sign on the AirTrain turnstiles: "AIR TRAIN UNAVAILABLE, FREE SHUTTLES AVAILABLE."  Wow... Really?!  More shuttles?  I follow the signs...  I end up on the street and there's a single shuttle.  That's one small bus.... at JFK.... at the busiest entry point... where 6 car AirTrains would be packed.... ONE bus is there.... O.N.E.

Chaos erupts.

But somehow I'm able to find a seat and we start to head out.  We travel maybe 100 yards.... bus stops and the driver pulls out his phone.... "Hey Carl?  How do I get to the terminals?"  Lady behind me, eyes as big as dinner plates: "I'm not hearing this right now."  We'll stop at a terminal and others will be there wanting to get back to Howard Beach.  The lady behind me formed a small militia, and is keeping anyone else from getting onto the bus, "JUST KEEP DRIVING DRIVER!" "NO! THERE IS NO MORE ROOM ON THIS BUS!!!!"  It takes forever but does end up getting us over to Terminal 5.  It's 8:30pm, 2 hours later than what I wanted to be, but I'm here.  There's one final hurdle to me getting home, the largest one... the TSA.

I get into the terminal and walk up to the TSA "supervisors", I'm a wreak.  Explain what happened and what my situation is.  And..... surprisingly..... They could not have been more accommodating.  They tell me to get a boarding pass and get into the security line.  I do.  End up at the TDC station where they take over.  I filled out a form and then we have a call with... "Virginia", like as in 'the state'... What ever that means.  We proceed to have a pop-quiz on my life.  Failure = No ticket home.

Time happens....

"Virginia" called some code.  The TSA officer looks down and checks a box.[Verified] it said.... I nearly collapsed.  The last hurdle.  I will be going home tonight!  The officer said that I would have to go through extra screening before getting in.  I didn't care if they handcuffed me to the chair.  Whatever.  The line for screening was hours long (from the AirTrain debacle, and everyone being really late).  The TSA officer barked at the crowd, "OUT OF THE WAY!!! COMING THORUGH.... MOVE MOVE MOVE!"  He literally walked me though hours of security lines.  One guy was walking into the X-RAY machine and he was pulled out.  TSA officer motioned to me to go in his place.  Then met up with another TSA officer who did a full pat-down and went through all my luggage (expected).  Nicest guy in the world, told me jokes the whole time.  Once I actually started going through security (after verification) it took around 10 minutes.

He turns to me with my boarding pass, "You're approved.  Have a good flight." 

I'm floored.  I enter the terminal, now able to board a plane and get back home.  I am starving, but had to junk all of the food German guy gave me through security.  I realized I haven't eaten for a long long time and it was starting to hit me.  I setup a basecamp and start on my first mission... Food. The easiest is finding food that people haven't finished and eat that.  When you're in survival mode, these things aren't all that 'foreign' at all.  Funny how much changes in life.  After I get some stuff to eat... Mainly some french fries and some discarded bread from a hamburger.  I setup my laptop and get to my next mission, getting from LAX to home.

I open up my laptop and a friend who wants to by me dinner chimes in... "Have them call me and I'll pay for it over the phone.  Just find a restaurant, here's my number"...  I'm floored.  I do find a restaurat but they won't do a over-the-phone credit card charge.  While the manager was explaining why to me he said, "Hang on a sec..... Stay here...", then he left for a bit.... Came back with a chicken tender meal and fries.....  "Here, no worries, it's on the house."  I inhale it.  Absolutely in tears.

After eating a real hot meal, I get back on my laptop (after finding a quit corner with some level of internet access) after a few hours I find some friends who are ok with meeting me at LAX at around 3am.  I close my laptop and head over to gate 19.  I sit down and I'm just 'there', still replaying the events of the last 24hrs.  There's some girl sitting across from me, I'm assuming some celebrity pop culture someone (don't know, don't care), as she had two girls around her as an obvious entourage.  They were sneak-snaping some photos of me and giggling.  I'm sure I looked unreal.  Part of me felt a need to tell her, but most of me didn't care.  It was kinda a fitting image before heading back home.  That you never really know someones story.

They opened for boarding and we all got onto the plane.  The plane was an hour late, so they even made all the movies free.  :') 5 hours later I walk outside LAX, and within 30 sec (not kidding) my friends pull up.  [Was literally the first car I saw]

I'm now at my house in LA drafting this experience.  And wanted to note something really important.  At each of these moments, every. single. person had to opportunity to stop this epilogue and hijack my entire experience.  But that's not what happened.  I just happened to come across the right people at the right time.  Or the universe just happened to place these people into my life when I needed them the most.

Either way, I'm home.

I have no way to truly thank these people to the degree they deserve to be thanked.  From the Australian and German, to the 9th Precinct, to "Mia", my family, to that stranger on the (L), those especially understanding TSA supervisors, the husband and wife who gave me their food, the manager of NewYorkSportsBar, and my friends who picked me up from LAX at 3am that night.

Thank you...

With the up most gratitude... 

--Paul Jacob Evans

www.pauljacobevans.com

Where do all these Rules come From?

"Now tell it back to me!"  The whole room is in silence, one by one each actor in the room turns in my direction to see how I fare in her little game.  "Cool... marriage falling apart... Got it."  "NO! you MUST rephrase the redirection so I know you understood.  If you can't rephrase it, you don't understand it."  She was belting off to us about how only the actors who rephrase get roles.  Me?  I don't know I'm supposed to rephrase the image of [a pint glass hitting a tile floor in slow motion, shattering into a million pieces].  I got her note, and would be ready to do the scene again.  I got my "flavor", the taste of the piece from the redirect... That's why I said...... (and stay with me here....) "Got. It."

I'm at a 'Tweetup'? to take part in a Q&A with a casting director late one Tuesday night.  I appreciate these meetings, all of them actually, even this one, I do learn a lot about the people who make up our industry.  Like..... 

Where do all these 'rules' come from?

I was talking to a director at a party, who was chatting about going through the casting process.  His 'rule'?  "If I see 'this' [hand position in above photo]. They're out.  They simply don't know how to act and they're wasting my time."  Another producer was mocking actors... "If they sit in the chair like [this], then I throw'em out.  They don't know what they're doing."  Another... "If they walk in the room and say 'Uhh' at all when I ask their name.  They're out, waste of my time."  Another... "If they came in dressed in costume, I'm done.  They can go home."  Another.... "If they decided to not even try to find a smock before the audition, we're done."  Another... "Really?  'Red scarf?'"

It can drive a actor mad.  And we hear this crap from talent buyers all the time.  How do we can we keep track of it all?  What are we supposed to do?

Jon Jankowiak is a very dear friend of mine, and one of the most brilliant minds I've ever had the opportunity to be around, he was also my boss at one time in my life.  Jon gave me a very puzzling piece of life advice that I would recommend you write down [like now!]....  (We were doing customer service at the time)

"PJ, when we talk to people, their experience is absolutely truthful.

But their "facts" are almost always lies.  

Fix the experience.  Ignore the lies."

I'll put his brilliance into context so you can fully appreciate how amazing your life perspective will be after understanding this:

• You come out of Trader Joe's to find someone with a baseball bat beating the hell out of your car.
• You yell at him to stop
• He screams back "YOU DENT MY CAR!  I'LL DENT YOU!!!!!!!!"

You've been presented a "experience" and some "facts".  Experience?  Extreme rage to the point of violence against your car.  Facts?  Because you dented it opening your car door.

Jon's advice?  Fix the experience. Ignore the lies.  

So you just completely drop the 'dent' thing, as whatever is going on is absolutely not about a dent (lie), and focus on why is he so angry he feels necessary to smash your car with a bat (experience).  

• "Dude!  What is going on?"
• "I HATE THIS DAMN PLACE. DAMN CARS. DAMN YOU. SPOTS SO SMALL YOU CAN'T EVEN GET OUT OF YOUR CAR!"
• "DUDE!  It's Trader Joe's, of course the parking lot sucks.  What is going on?"

Then you find out that his wife left him that morning because he got laid off from work.  That's is the 'truth' in his experience.  That's what is actually going on.  That is what needs to be fixed. It has NOTHING to do with WHAT HE ACTUALLY TOLD YOU IT WAS ABOUT!

Cool eh? ;)

Going through ALL of the interactions with EVERYONE I've had in the industry.  I was finally able to peel back the layers to what these people are looking for.  What is the 'truth' experience behind them?

There's only two (2) things any of these people want to see.  As there's only two (2) pieces that make up their experience.  All the rest?  Lies.  Total lies.  Complete and unadulterated don't-even-bother-listening lies. So, what's the "secret sauce?"  Here's the recipe:  

1. They want to fully know who you are as a person.
2. They want to fully believe you as an actor.

That's it.  

All the above talent buyers, this is what they all were really looking for.  Jazz-hands director?  I'm sure he held casting, and a bunch of actors came in that did 'jazz-hands' that he didn't believe as actors (experience).  He attributed this to 'jazz-hands (lie).  Redirect-CD?  She had people come in, and the ones who couldn't rephrase the redirection just happened to be the actors she didn't believe (experience).  But she attributed this to a in-ability to rephrase (lie).  Anti-Red CD?  I'm sure some actors came in wearing all read that she didn't believe (experience).  But attributed this to a color (lie).

And it goes on forever people!!!!!

So while you're in your CD workshop, or talking with some rules-deranged producer.  Put up your filter, always remember your recipe.  Find where their experience ends, and their lies begin.

Have a awesome day!

--Paul Jacob Evans

www.pauljacobevans.com