"How can you be so happy all the time?" She was staring right back at me with a 'drop the bullshit' kind of look. "What is up with you?" I looked right back at her, shrugged my shoulders... smiled. "It's a choice. And I choose to be happy." That didn't seem to quite satisfy her... "No... no, no.. There's bad shit going on out here in the world, you have bombings and shootings. Hatred and ..." I stopped her right there.
"That's all 'so what?'", I said, "I'm here to tell you that none of that matters. These 'facts', people, places, events that happen have no meaning... no 'charge'. It's your emotions that fill these images that make them positive or negative..." DING! Another customer comes in, she looks at me with a contemplative look then over back to the counter.
I look back down at my breakfast and ponder what I can tell her to help give her more to life. This blog always seems to piece my thoughts together, so today's encounter is creating this post. :)
Has something ever happened in the past (something more than a year ago) that hurt you? Maybe someone stole from you... cheated on you.... etc etc etc. Do you notice now, when you think about that event that there's a little bit of calmness around it? Detachment? Maybe now, thinking about it... You see some good that came from it. Maybe you're looking back at that event and even chuckling about the situation? And here's the break-though with this exercise...
If that sense of detachment is there 1 year later, maybe it was there the day it happened.
Think of these 'facts' as little cars. They have no power, they are powered by emotions. So a 'fact' will happen: [your boss fires you] At that point, some emotion will get into the fact-car and start driving it towards 'rotten-land' or 'happy-ville'. What you can learn to do, is decide which emotions get to drive these little cars. And you'll be amazed what changes you can make in your life.
So 'fact' happens: [SUV cuts you off] 'Rage' is already getting into the fact-car... But you say 'NO.' And offer that little car to 'Love'. "You know what? Maybe his wife is in the hospital... Maybe that's why he's in such a hurry." You say to the SUV that you were about to scream at.
How do you do this?
There are 4 phrases you can say that interrupts the auto-pilot most of us have our emotions on.... And that's when I know how to help the waitress. :) I grab a napkin and write the following:
I Love You
Please Forgive Me
The waitress came back and dropped off the check. "I think I can finally answer you...", I say, "Here. Whenever you feel that 'facts' are happening that you don't like. Say these words. It's called 'Ho'oponopono', you use it to keep bad emotions from literally driving your life."
She smiled while reading it, and tucked it in her apron.
DING! Yet another customer.
"Thank you hon.", she says. I look right back at her, "You're welcome. And I hope you have a awesome day."
She contemplated for a second, then a deep confident smile.
"You know what? I will have one."
And I hope you have a awesome day as well :')
--Paul Jacob Evans